I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Randomize
