I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
