i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
