It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
