you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
