I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
