just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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