i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he fucked my hip out of place.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
