miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
