But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
