i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
