his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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