Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
