Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
