Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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