so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
