It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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