She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
