: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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