Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
