I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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