so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
