The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
