normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
