oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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