Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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