therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
