I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
