Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
