thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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