Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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