The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
