I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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