I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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