operation have a gay friend backfired
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
