So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
