Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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