i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
