I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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