She's JV to your varsity
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
