I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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