People with herpes should wear stickers.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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