I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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