the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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