The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
