I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We named our party play list daddy issues
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Come see our sink grown plant.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
