Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
