Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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