I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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