Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you would pick up someone in the library
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
